Half Baked Samson Beef With Dave Chappelle
Half Broiled is a 1998 film that is a cult classic and a touchstone for many in the marijuana community, who feel that its humor, silliness, and wisdom were long overdue. It has helped bring the stoner film back into popularity.
- Directed by Tamra Davis. Written past Dave Chappelle and Neal Brennan.
A comedy nigh best buds! (taglines)
Thurgood [edit]
- Abracadabra? That`s the newest slang, all the kids are saying information technology! Alchemy my nigga!
- Kenny's Sweet Virgin Ass!
- [Thurgood when finished with work] Free!!
- I'thou sexy... I'1000 a scholar... people similar me
- You guys smoke ENTIRELY as well much reefer.
- I got some booty, I got some booty!
- I, myself, am a master of the custodial arts..or a janitor if yous wanna exist a dick about it.
- Permit me tell yous something: I love weed. I dearest it! But not as much every bit I dear pussy!
- Abba Zabba....You're my only friend
Scarface [edit]
- [To each of his fellow burger employees] Fuck you, fuck you lot, fuck you, [To the old lady customer] you're cool, [the sometime lady gives a thumb-up] and fuck you, I'one thousand out!
- I'thousand right behind you. Plough effectually and ask me for a heffer with cheese, yo. Why you gotta make me experience inferior cause I'm on the grill, B? Damn!
- Ahhhh this motherfucker said ice cream, B!
Other [edit]
- Nasty Nate: And then the side by side fourth dimension I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail...FRUIT!
- Sir-Fume-Alot: I desire to talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! 'Cause it's hard being black and gifted. Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down and get lifted!
- Sir-Smoke-Alot: I'm impotent, human! Get away from me, bowwow!
- Kenny: Ya hear that? I'm somebody'southward bowwow!
- Brian: Get some...sour foam and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, human being. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and nosotros'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the footling crunch berries, pizzas, nosotros need two big pizzas, homo, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.
- Brian: Don't worry. Don't worry. 50'k not gonna do what everyone thinks fifty'm gonna do: Flip out, man! All l wanna know is: who's comin' with me? Who's comin', man? Who'southward comin' with me?
- Enhancement Smoker: You always meet the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man. There's a dude sittin' in the bushes, man, does he take a gun? I dunno, man, I dunno! Wha, wha? Cerise Team Go, RED Squad GO. It'due south only some weird shit, man!
- Sir-Smoke-Alot: Doc says I need a dorsum-iotomy!
Dialogue [edit]
- Brian: You fume?
- Mary Jane: No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
- Brian: That's all the more than reason to toke upwards human! Information technology'll ease the pain!
- [Thurgood explains to the detective that they will seem less suspicious in an undercover sting if they are loftier.]
- Brian: I merely wanna say that that was a swell idea, Thurgood. I mean how practice you come up up with...
- [cut off]
- Scarface: Only smoke it, yo.
- (Later on only discovering their apartment demolished by Samson's henchmen)
- Thurgood: (answering phone) Mr. Overnice Guy - party accessories.
- Samson: Well did you go my message?
- Thurgood: Who is this?
- Samson: This is SAMPSON, smarty pants!
- Thurgood: Operator with an emergency breakthrough from your sister. (high-pitched vocalisation) "Samson, information technology's Shelia! Mama fell-"
- Samson: Shut Upwards, BITCH!!!
- Samson: I'm gonna accept your little Mexican friend here and I'm gonna impale him.
- Scarface: I'm Cuban, b!
- Samson: Yep, Cuban B!
- Brian: I'll pretend I'm Jamaican man! Yes!
- Thurgood: You have smoked yourself retarded!
- [Kenny is on his way out to go munch]
- Kenny: Hey, if I`m non back in x minutes call the police.
- Thurgood: If he ain't back in ten minutes, nosotros callin' Dominoes!
- Brian: Lady, yous want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you lot five.
- Woman: Uh-uh. He autographed it himself...
- Brian: Okay, I'll give yous iv.
- [Brian, Scarface, and Thurgood are sneaking into the refer lab]
- Scarface: Human, you didn't say zippo 'bout no door, yo!
- Thurgood: Merely chill out, man. I smoked weed here all the time. This door's never locked.
- [Scarface opens the door, the alarm goes off]
- Thurgood: I didn't say the alert would be off, though. I simply said it's never locked.
- Scientist: Janitor? Uh, janitor?
- [taps Thurgood, who gets frightened]
- Thurgood: Ah! Oh..lamentable 'tour that. What is it, scientist?
- Scientist: I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh, could you exist a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It'south on the second flooring. [hands Thurgood a note]
- Thurgood: But run this downwards?
- Scientist: Yes, only make sure you bring the order right dorsum to me. I need information technology A.Due south.A.P.
- Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility merely just mop the rest of this shit upward [hands him a mop] I'll be correct dorsum.
- Thurgood: Yea. Um, So how long's [your dad] been in [jail]?
- Mary Jane: Four years next month.
- Thurgood: Four years. And what exactly was he selling?
- Mary Jane: Marijuana.
- Thurgood: Four YEARS Just FOR WEED?! DAMN!
- Mary Jane: Only? No, no, no, no. Non but. Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug. I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
- Thurgood: Yeah, mostly junk nutrient.
- Kenny: [to police equus caballus] Hey girl, you hungry?
- Overweight adult female: [walking by] Fuck you, nigga!
- Kenny: Hey, I'yard sorry...I was talking to the horse here.
- Thurgood: I'm here today because I'chiliad addicted..to marijuana.
- Rehab patient: Y'all in here 'cuz of marijuana?! Human, this is some BULLSHIT!
- Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Marijuana is non a drug. I used to suck dick for coke.
- Rehab patient: I seen him [practice it]!
- Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Now that'south an addiction, man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?
- Thurgood: No, I tin can't say I have.
- Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: I didn't call back so.
- Rehab patient: Boo this man!
[crowd boos]
- Samson: Delilah, go me "eight fourteen".
- Delilah: [to some other woman] Eight xiv.
- Thurgood: [whispers to Scarface and Brian] What the fucks "eight 14"?
- [she pulls out a crossbow]
- Thurgood: AH! I'1000 sorry you lot, I don't want to be the outset nigga to die from a crossbow.
- Samson: Then, tell me about yourself.
- Thurgood: Well yaknow I be from Jamaica, monday. Lord take mercy.
- Samson: What office of Jamaica?
- Thurgood: Right near the beach. BOY!
- Samson: I recollect you're bullshitting me.
- Thurgood: Samson Simpson! I stick by my story! I'm from Jamaica. If I wasn't Jamaican than why would I wear this lid? hm?
Taglines [edit]
- They'll do anything to save their best bud.
- Warning: this movie may crusade the munchies, cotton wool mouth, and memory loss!
- A comedy about best buds!
External links [edit]
- Half Baked quotes at the Internet Film Database
- One-half Baked at Rotten Tomatoes
- Half Baked script on Script-O-Rama
Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Half_Baked
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